Hollow
by DcayZombie
Summary: Regulus feels worthless, unneeded, beaten and hated. He draws more into himself with each passing day, whilst no seems to notice. He feels alone and resorts to cutting. Is there going to be someone there for he when he falls or will he hit the ground hard and alone. Rated M for self harm, bullying and language. Sucky summary.
1. Chapter 1: Hollow

Chapter 1

* * *

_One, two, three…_

Hollow. That's all he felt with each cut. Just numbness, nothing but a sense of calmness. Every bad memory from the summer fading with each cut.

Each beating from his mother felt less painful. His father disappointment felt less suffocating. His only brother hatred felt rightly deserved.

_Four, five, six…_

His houses taunting were manageable. The other houses taunting were manageable. The bullying was rightly deserved.

_Seven, eight, nine, ten…_

Everything was fine.

He felt for the first time since summer able to breathe, to relax, to become hallow, himself.

These were his thoughts, proud, loner Regulus Black actions. As he rode in a carriage by himself to Hogwarts for his fifth year. Of course he already put up a privacy and silencing charm to keep other out. He learnt that the hard way in third year courtesy of his older brother and his 'friends'. When they decided to test new pranking spell they'd developed over the summer on him since Snivellus had the smarts to hide as soon as he got on the train.

Regulus shrugged. Probably did something to deserve it.

He always did.

Regulus sighed as he looked down at his arm, the blood running down from his wrist to the seat. It was morbid, but at the same time it bought a smile to his face. To know he wasn't as black blooded as his brother proclaimed or his mother beat into him. To know that he was like everyone even if he was more worthless then most.

He felt contend. This year he had decided. He won't be leaving this year.

He was going to be free, empty and no longer cause others pain with his mere existence.

All of a sudden the train came to a halt, signalling their arrival.

He sent a quick spell to clean the seat and slowly bandage his arm, so that he could ride to Hogwarts by himself and delay the torture that would soon start.

He put his glamour's in place to hide his old and new marks from his beating and exited the train.

He slowly walked to the last remaining carriage and climbed in, but not before softly petting each of Thestrals.

* * *

First fanfiction, that I thought up randomly cause I wanted to read something like but could find any. Plus I wanted to add to the Regulus fanfiction.

Please read and review

And I'll update soon


	2. Chapter 2: Deadman Walking

Finally an update! sorry this took so long ( _-_ ) written is much harder then it looks but I'll work harder. School finishes next week so i definitely be faster just give me time please to get the hang of writting and sorry ahead of time if i made a mistake and didn't correct it.

Thank you! to AngelRainglow, MissSadieKane, Cloudy Rabbit and the Guest who all left reviews. Firstly sorry the first chapter was short, it was mostly a trail written late at night. Secondly I'm not too sure if this will be AU just yet but their is big chance it might be but later on carry on like the books. Still undecided at this time. sorry (_)/ . Lastly i won't make Sirius that big of a S.O.B but he does bully Reg and let other do it. Hopefully this Chapter will explain more and thank to all the follows and favourite too!

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 2

I finally made it to the great hall as the First Years were entering for their Sorting and silently crept to the end of the Slytherin table, glad for my lack of presence in situations like this.

As soon as I take a seat, a see some one out of the corner of my eye and suddenly feel an elbow in my side. I take a deep breath and swallow my groan of pain. That's going to bruise in the morning, another mark for my collection, I think sourly. I slowly look up to my left, masking my face with a blank look of indifference.

Avery.

As I make eye contact with him, some one else cuffs me over the back of my head with enough force to make me hit the table and slides into the seat next to me. He then throws his arm over my shoulder, I turn and come face to face with a grinning Mulciber.

'Shit.'

Two of my most evil tormentors. Beaters for the Slytherin quidditch team, Purebloods, psychopaths and potential (If they haven't already joined over the summer) Deatheaters. Their personalities alone would make them top recruits for Voldemort army.

"Well well, little Reggie, we thought for sure you'd finally made the right decision and off-ed yourself during the summer holidays mate. You know, done the honourable thing." Mulciber said with mock disappointment.

"Awwwwe Mulciber, don't be mean. Beggars can't be choosers after all. Just now we make Reggie-poo cry and he tells his big brother Black on us!" Avery scolds with a sadist grin.

I grimaced and try to slip out from Mulciber arm but that only encouraged them to move closer, leaving me no breathing room. My claustrophobia started to surface then and I could feel my breath coming faster. I grip my arm, the pain from my still raw cuts allowing me to regain my senses of where I am and that I can't show my weakness. I slump my shoulders and look down, letting my black fringe shield the tears gathering in my eyes.

Boys don't cry. That phrase has been ingrained into me enough by my father, to know the punishment for such weakness. I shiver, as if I can still hear my flesh meeting leather.

I'm pulled out of my memories, as I hear Professor Dumbledore begin his year start speech. I don't bother listening, none of the higher years do. It's always the same revised announcements anyway. You can already see people growing bored and whispering to their friends as they wait for the feast to begin. Avery and Mulciber that the chance to throw more scalding remarks about me and my 'blood traitor of a brother' as my mother named him in howler sent to him during first year that got adopted by the Slytherin just for his ridicule. I tune them out, my mask already set in a blank look of indifference, smoothed out without any cracks as I let my eyes wonder to the Gryffindor table.

Sirius, joking and laughing with his friends. Just looking at him would make Regulus feel inadequate about himself. Sirius was tall, well-built, with the Black's darkly handsome looks and fair skin, not to mention his lustrous black hair he was always flicking out of his striking grey eyes, leaving love struck girls in his wake. Sirius just oozed an air of casual elegance, making people flock to him.

Regulus in comparison was at least a head shorter then him (even though he was a year younger), his own grey eyes only coming to Sirius chest. While he had the Black's good looks at one point, they were now hidden behind his shaggy emo black hair and coupled with the fact that he never looked at some one in the eye long enough for them to notice. His own fair skin was now snow white pale from the fact he only ever went outside to play Quidditch (normally just before curfew, to avoid other students) before running back to the confines of the library or when the library was to crowded to the black lake. Add to that Regulus was skinny from under eating and all the beating he'd received throughout the years. To finish Regulus presences was that of a small child; weak, ignored and dismissed among the adults until needed.

Sirius. Both his tormentor and the reason of his torment. The real pride of my parents and the cause of my beating, for being unlike him and then for his betrayal. Not that I ever though that Sirius knew what was going on behind closed doors with silencing spells at work. He knew our parents were evil, just never how hands on the disciplining could get. To him I was the perfect son, the perfect Black. Doing what ever mother and father suggested without fight. If only he knew how many times I'd screamed for him, to only be left in the dark with the monsters he stood up to daily.

Probably the most hateful thing for Regulus about himself, was that he could never bring it in himself to hate or even blame his brother for what happened daily at home. He could only ever look on sadly as he ran away over the summer towards the Potters house, leaving him behind to take the repercussions of his parent's anger over losing their true heir. Their true son.

Sirius ran, something he could never do by himself. He deserved what came to him, he was weak. A coward. He deserved every beating he got for not standing up for himself or trying to fight back. He let this carry on for ten years and had done nothing. He deserved to take everything he got. He deserved being a target and punching bag for the whole of Hogwarts. People could tell he was trash and unworthy.

And now it was too late to change, too late to stand up for himself. Too hard to do it alone atleast. He had been written off by everyone that was willing to help him, with good cause. He'd been left defenceless and abandoned. He was utterly alone, with nothing but the monsters that hide in his own mind, just waiting for him to crumble.

To soon Dumbledore's Speech ended, with Regulus muttering the last line about the forbidden forest being off limits. Like the name doesn't say it all.

"Enjoy the feast and welcome back to all." Dumbledore said with a tinkle in his eyes.

Mountains of food then appeared with a pop, with whatever you could think of, in true fashion of a feast. You could hear the gasps of surprise and excitement from the First Years, as their eyes got bigger and the mouths snapped open before diving to their plates to fill up on everything. Some eating right off the platters to just get food already.

Regulus smiled a little at the comical scene before him. He then looked down at his own empty plate before deciding to just go with a small serving of cottage pie. He picked up his fork before slowly begining to eat. It was probably good but he tasted nothing and just began to slowly play with his food as he waited for the feast to be over so he could go to his dorm, before the real torment came.

He sighed, unaware of the eyes watching him with a questioning gaze.

"Hey Padfoot! What's the big idea ignoring me?! Especially to stalk the Slytherin table." James wined pulling Sirius gaze back to him.

"Nothing, Prongs. Just thinking bout all the great plans we going to pull this year, especially on a certain house." Sirius answered back with a smirk. Not giving the tiny inclination that he was watching his little brother.

"Ohhhh! I was think we should start off with a bang this year, you know. Something like…" Sirius shut out James voice as he went back to staring at his little brother seated between two of the fucking worse Slytherin bastards there was. It was pissing him off how his small brother was trapped between the two Deatheaters, probably spouting utter Pureblooded crap in his ears. Poisoning his mind.

Although Sirius would never admit it out loud, he still kind of cared about his little Reggie. Even if he was the perfect son and believed all their parents teaching about Purebloods being better then everyone and Muggles should be wiped from the earth.

Sirius thoughts went back to when he didn't see his brother at the start of the feast or during the train ride he honestly started to feel a panic set in him that something had happened to his small little brother. But when he saw him sneak in with the First Years the panic subsided to be replaced with something more powerful. Protectiveness and curiosity. Of why he was late and went to sit at the end of the table away from his Deatheaters friends. Not that he minded the last bit. But he saw Regulus flinch when they sat down beside him, like we was scared. His big brother instincts rose at that point, especially when he didn't interact with them at all and seemed to keep his face down, hidden from all view.

And now he was not eating a thing. During the whole feast he brought nothing to his mouth, just played with his food. Sirius was worried. But would Regulus cared that he was concerned or just tell him to buzz of?

Sirius shrugged and turned back to his friends, his true brothers and smiled.

Regulus was fine, just acting like a spoiled git.

And with that thought Sirius forgot all about Regulus and his weird behaviour.

* * *

Please review and look out for a update soon!


	3. Chapter 3: Welcome Back

Chapter 3: Welcome Back

With the feast dismissed and most people heading to their dorms for the welcome back party. Here was I trudging my way through Hogwarts, towards one of the few places I could truly feel at home while here. A place safe from my brother and Housemates. Somewhere where I could drop my mask of indifferences, acknowledge my tears and let loose my anger. I could forget all the harsh remarks and insults here, nurse away all the bruising I'd acquire and mend all mental barriers. I could forget everything that happened at dinner, bury it away. Forget all the echoes of laughter, looks of disgust and hatred. Forget how the First Years already sneered at him and joined in. And most of all, forget the sound of Sirius's true laughter and smiles that he gave to his new family. His new brothers.

Regulus could remember the days when he and Sirius were truly brothers. When they trusted and loved each other without question. When they were all the other had, all the other needed. Back when Regulus was the only one to see Sirius's true smile, the one that reached all the way to his eyes and held no mockery. Sirius's smile was the brightest thing in Regulus childhood, the glimmer of light among all that darkness.

And now?

He'd been left behind, with what his brother proclaimed he deserved.

'_I can't stay here any longer. I won't survive. You were meant to be the perfect heir, not me little brother. You're just like them, you deserve them Reg. ' _

He was now alone, consumed by the dark. Sirius would no longer hold him and protect him from the monsters. When monsters had finally materialized, he'd been left alone to fend for himself like always.

Regulus was pulled out of his dark musing when he noticed he had arrived at his destination.

The library.

The books always gave him a sense of sanctuary. In their world he was no longer pathetic little Regulus to be mocked. In books he got to be in a different reality. One where the good guys always won, families stuck together and friends found you. A book was a place the main character stuck up for himself and saved the world. And the best thing about books? You always knew there was a happy ending awaiting you in the end pages, no matter how dark the chapters got. Even the minor characters were redeemed in the end. But in the end that was it. That's all books are.

If Regulus was anything in a book, he'd probably be nothing more than an extra in the darkest childhood on one Sirius Orion Black. A foot note in the Great Marauders legacy. Sneered at, hated and pitied for a couple of pages before he was forgotten.

Regulus smiled. At least then Sirius would think of him. If only for a second he'd be remembered.

Regulus brought himself out of his dark thoughts with a sigh, annoyed that he once again got lost in his pity. He'd been doing that too much for his liking.

Deciding to finally do what he came here to do, he reached out for the door handle and pushed.

Locked.

Regulus gave a grin. Like that ever mattered.

He pulled out his wand from his cloak and used his most favoured spell over the years.

"Alohomora." Regulus muttered.

_Click._

He pushed the handle again with ease and quickly entered, silently closing and re-locking the door behind him.

"Lumos."

And as the words left his lips, lights started glowing from his wand. Lighting the deserted room.

Regulus sighed and let go of all the magic he kept in place over his body. His glamour disappearing and with it his mask that he had kept up all supper. He always allowed himself to let down his guard here, when alone. In here after hours, meant there was no need to keep up appearance or expel magic that exhausted him both physically and mental. In here he allowed himself to breath for the first time since entering the great hall.

Regulus walked slowly through the aisles of books, running his fingers carefully over the spines. The comforting smell the library offered calming him. Walking through the maze with his wand had at eye level lighting the way to haven of solitude. Light footsteps echoing with no hesitant, after so many years he'd memorized the route exactly. It was a path craved into his mind. A secret selection that even the marauders hadn't found. He'd made he feel a sense of pride. This was his secret and his alone. A place he could turn to when his inner turmoil and worthlessness washed over him. A place he would never be judge in or monster could enter. His sanctuary.

Regulus turned and reached his dusty corner and smiled when he saw nothing had changed. That even the House Elves hadn't discovered it, in his weeks of absence.

His eyes lit up as he scanned the room and contents. The shelves were packed with reject books of unknown if legible titles, that nobody read but him. A floor covered with a thick layer of grime and dust. Lastly sitting proudly in the far corner a wooden torch that no matter the time remained lit. Probably since no sunlight could reach this far back into the library. With a smile he whispered, "Nox." And put his wand back in his cloak.

Regulus then walked up to the shelves, noticing like always that the books had changed, as they did at the start of ever week. He thanked Hogwarts silently for this since it meant that he would never have to venture out of his corner to find new reading material. In turn alerting others of his presence. Being here... he felt the true gift of Hogwarts. That the promise of protection was given, if only for a little while. He could almost feel as if someone cared.

Regulus reached out and pulled a fairly big book out from the shelves, making him sway a little under the sudden weight. He scowled at that. Damn him for being so skinny!

He took the arm of his cloak and not caring of all the dust, wiping the cover clean.

'_The Count of Monte Christo by__Alexandre Dumas__'_

Regulus smiled he remember the author from another book he became fond of during Second Year.

_The Three Musketeers. _

Happy with his choice he walked over to the torch and sat cross legged under it for perfect light and began reading. Escaping into the world of paper and ink.

-Line Break-

_Dumbledore POV_

Dumbledore gazed into the crystal ball, sitting on the corner of his desk. Hogwarts had notified him as soon as the doors to the library had been opened by an unauthorized individual afterhours. Alerting him that it might be an intruder or group of Gryffindor pranksters creeping about this near curfew. But it was thankfully neither.

He sat back with a small smile as he watched Mr Regulus Arcturus Black sneak in and reach a hidden corner Hogwarts had created for the young man. He then sat down on the dusty floor and began reading a book. He probably had no idea that Dumbledore had a hand in selecting. Every since Mr Black had decided to take refuge in Hogwarts library, he began to help in the little ways he only could to ease the boys pain. Even if that only meant changing the books at the start of each week to give the boy some relief.

He sighed, the twinkle leaving his eyes as tiredness set in. His thoughts taking him back to the poor boy sorting. He was a sorting he'd never have the pleasure to forget.

_Flashback_

"_Black, Regulus." _

_Pure silence followed after Professor McGonagall called the name. The entire Great Hall sitting in anticipation and hushed whispers for the youngest Black to make an appearance. All waiting to see if he would follow his Bloodline and proceed to Slytherin or abandon his namesake for his brother and that of Gryffindor. Eyes scanning the First Years like wolves, as if the boy was a lamb to slaughter. _

_Finally there was a shuffle among the First Years and small boy with black hair appeared. He slowly approached the Sorting hat, caution in his every step. His eyes never leaving the floor._

_Professor McGonagall lifted the Sorting hat and for a second, Dumbledore made eye contact with the small boy._

_What he saw made his eyes harden and a frown appear. The boy was covered in a self-made glamour and the Headmaster had seen what was underneath. It made his blood boil._

_The eleven year old Pureblood had swollen black eye, split lip and a healing cut across his cheek. In conclusion the strength of the glamour suggested two things for certain. _

_There were more wounds, worst then that on his face, littered across his body._

_From the way the glamour was wrapped around the boy body, perfectly without fault. They'd been in place for years._

_Dumbledore scowl only deepened when he saw that young Sirius Black was ignoring his brother discomfort and Sorting completely in favour of whispering with his friends. Probably another prank planned for the Slytherin. While watching the young Black and looking for traces of his own glamour, Dumbledore realized that the older of the two probably had no idea what was happening in his own house, to his own brother. That young Mr Sirius had no idea the true abuse his parents could cause._

_Dumbledore sighed at the boy ignorance and turned his gaze back to the small abused boy. He realized then that even while he had been in his own musing for a while Regulus Black sorting had been at a stand still for over ten minutes. _

_The younger boy was slightly shaking on the stool, probably arguing with the Sorting Hat to place him in Slytherin rather then his true house. Dumbledore eyes ghosted over the house tables to find all eyes on the small First year. Even Young Mr Sirius Black had turned from his friends to bring his eyes on his younger brother. You could see the confusion on his face with the tiniest spark of hope and longing. Dumbledore then observed the Slytherin table, they were sneering and beginning to whisper. The hate and disgust evident in their eyes. _

_And with that Dumbledore did something that had never been done in the history of Hogwarts and would remain his secret for all time. Unknowingly condemning new forms of abuse, hate and torture for the young boy._

_He whispered to the hat through mind link and replaced his frown with a smile just in time for the Sorting Hat to scream out _

"_SLYTHERIN!"_

'_End Flashback'_

The glamour strength increased with each home visit and Regulus became more withdrawn with each passing day. He could tell that the abuse had escalated from first year and that most of it came from his students.

With a disappoint sigh he raise his wand and sent a warming spell towards the boy and disconnected the crystal ball. Until the young boy could fight for his worth and approach the Headmaster, there was nothing he could do.

Dumbledore brought his fist down in anger, a loud bang echoing around his office. His eyes turning hard. The Blacks were a powerful Pureblood family and he could not get them convicted in a court of law without Regulus willing to stand against them.

Dumbledore stood and began pacing his office. He only hoped the few bruises the boy spotted on his face, was the only abuse he was carry this moment.

-Line Break-

Regulus POV 

Regulus silently crept through Hogwarts, making his way down to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room entrance. He had fallen asleep while reading and his robes and hair was now covered in dust, making him sneeze every now and then. He had thought about just staying there till breakfast like he usually did. But realized he need his school books and supplies. Also he was sure his roommates would report him if he had not returned just to get him detention.

'Bloody arseholes' Regulus thought with a sneer.

He slowed his walking as the cave walk came in sight. Taking a deep breathe and muttered the password,

"Mudbloods"

So the hadn't change it from last year. Sick bastard probably still thought it was funny.

Regulus silently entered the common room and stoped, let the wall close behind him. He look around quickly, dread already settling in his stomach.

Empty.

Regulus released a breath he had no idea he was holding. Of course it be empty, it was two in the morning. The welcoming party was well over, with everyone passed out drunk in their beds.

He crept towards the stairs, mentally scolding himself for being so paranoid.

He walked over to his dorm room, reaching for the handle hoping his roommates were passed out like the rest of his house.

He pushed the door open.

Nothing but pitch darkness.

He silently closed the door walking to his bed on the far side of the room. But just as he got to the centre of the room. The lights switched on, blinding him. He heard snickering and knew he was caught. Heart racing and face blank he looked around to see all his roommates sitting on their beds with sick looks of glee on their faces.

"Didn't think we'd let you miss the welcoming party, did you?"

Regulus snapped his neck over to his bed, his eyes widening slightly.

'Please no. Please no. Please no.' regulus began chanting in vain.

Their on his bed sat none other then Avery and Mulciber. Sick grins on each of their faces. Regulus slowly began backing away, swearing at himself for leaving the library.

"And now his trying to run away too." Suddenly two hands grabbed his upper arms. Trapping him.

"Now that not very nice is it? After we waited such a long time too." Avery pronounced standing up from his bed.

"Ungrateful like git, I would say." Mulciber sneered also standing.

"But don't worry will still have a celebration! Won't we?" Avery gleeful stated with a grin stalking towards him with a grin.

"Of course we are!" Mulciber answered cracking his knuckles.

Suddenly someone grabbed his chin, making his face visible.

"Missed you Regs!" Avery sneered as fist connect with his stomach.

_*hide a little* sorry this update is so late, school has a little hectic and i got lazy. But it's my last year so be kind Thanks for all the support!_

_Read and review and let me know what you think!_


End file.
